I am writing this at 22:58pm.
I have had a distraction that I didn't expect.. but it worked. It has put so much shock into me and I know it's probably nasty to say if you take it in a negative way, but it wasn't the kind of distraction I was looking for.
It isn't my place to say what has happened, but I am now so concerned about my ex that my brain has decided to let me have a break from the dark torment. It is safe to say that I am very distracted.. as much as I didn't need such a shock and to be full of concern, it has helped.
It's hard to put down into words how much I still care for him, but right now I believe it's a great deal. Well to say this is certainly a shock on it's own, but even my mother feeling sick earlier didn't do half this much on distracting me.
I think the easiest way to describe why this has distracted me more is to say it's because I'm not physically with him. Because I'm with my mum, I can keep an eye on how she is so there is no need to worry as much. As for him, I'm not with him, and as much as I know his family and friend are there, it's more like me trying to help more for the simple fact I can't really do much through a screen.
I can't really say much else I suppose because it's still the same old thing which is happening, so this is the only update I can afford to give right now. If I write later, it will be because something has changed.
I have finished writing this at 23:08pm.
Thank you for reading,
Kirstie x
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