Let The Tears Fall

I am writing this at 01:20am. I am back in that state of mind where I don't want to live anymore. I don't know what's caused it, I don't know where it's come from, but here I am again, just accepting death would be best. I am currently wanting to cry as I write this, and things are just getting too much... and the silly thing is nothing has happened for me to even say that, but it's because I'm still bottling up a lot of things and I just can't bare the thought of letting them go because to feel is to be alive; that is how I know I'm still here and it stops me being numb to feel pain. It's distressing me, and I do fear my own mind. Unfortunately, I missed my counselling session with my college because I was unwell and required the day off. If I didn't, I do wonder what I would be posting here in replace of this. I am finishing writing this at 01:22am. Thank you for reading, Goodnight, Kirstie x