Confused Little Mind

I am writing this at 23:29pm. Today I was sent home from college, not because of mental reasons but because I'm ill. I have to see the doctor this week and I intend to see them before I go back to college on Tuesday. During my time off my sister had come to pick me up from my college alone with my father and my sister's children. All I wanted to do was sleep, instead I heard constant shouting from her. As we ventured to Frodsham, I was left to run around after her eldest child, and this is why it was a problem; the reason I was sent home from college was due to becoming dizzy from walking, severe headaches, my temperature would rise and fall rapidly and my eyes couldn't focus on much. So, while my sister was walking around with my father, I was left to run around after my niece. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem but I became out of breath easily and I nearly collapsed twice, but for the safety of my niece, I stayed and ran with her due to the ignorance of her mother. When I got home after dropping my sister and her children at home, all I wanted to do was sleep. Instead, everytime I tried to sleep my body wouldn't let me and instead become more alert. After nearly two hours of this, I eventually fell asleep and for the entire time I was asleep I was calm, I felt perfectly healthy and my headaches had gone. The moment I woke up for my tea, everything came back and I will admit I wanted to cry. As my evening has progressed, it has gotten to the point where one of my headaches became so severe I was nearly crying. Luckily, this has now started to calm down as I'm writing this. Tonight I have been talking with my ex, and I'm not entirely sure what to do with him anymore. I have accepted now he doesn't want to be with me, but he has become very distant and doesn't talk to me, and upon telling him that to his other friends he does, he told me they normally only last fifteen minutes where he talks freely. I have become very confused by his behavior as this has only started while he's come off his medication, and I'm worried what he will turn into. When I was speaking to my friend about it today, she agreed with me that while he was on them and still with me, he was better, happier and seemed so be a lot brighter too. Due to being ill and mixed feelings, it's almost like my head can't cope with making decisions on what I want or need in this new found mutual relationship I have with my ex, and I myself am confused on what I want in general. I have finished writing this at 23:39pm. Thank you for reading, Kirstie x