I am writing this at 00:50am.
Tonight I realised I still love my ex, and unfortunately tonight he's nearly broken my heart again if that was ever possible. Even as I'm writing this I'm crying, and I'm shaking and so lost.
I told him how I've been feeling lately and unfortunately it's gotten him annoyed to the point where he nearly lost it with me, and it all started with him telling me he liked someone else. Right now I don't know what to do.
This is the most lost I've felt in a very long while, and even speaking to a few friends hasn't helped and I'm getting into that frame of mind again where I would gladly die. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore, and if he saw this he'd go absolutely mental at me.
I'm not even sure if this will be the last post I ever do on here. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to find out what's wrong with me and my illness, but at this rate I'll be speaking to him about depression. It is something I don't want to face, but I may have no choice but to accept I may be moderately depressed, and I need help.
I have finished writing this at 00:53am.
If this is my last post, I bid you all a farewell now and wish you all the best. If this isn't, I will post an update tomorrow.
Thank you for reading,
Kirstie.
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