Over Thinking

I am writing this at 22:17pm. This morning, I woke up very late and unfortunately didn't go to college, but it's helped me because I haven't been feeling well so I've helped myself by resting. I am writing now because I am over thinking an awful lot on what I want and what I don't want out of this existence, I don't know if I want to go anymore or stay. People have needed me, that's a fact, but for some of the people I have been helping it has made me question if death is the right thing for me. I have gotten back in touch with someone recently who meant a lot to me, and they have been helping me out, making me laugh and enjoying those little things in life. It has made me smile a lot and I am happy he has achieved this for me. There are plenty of things I can enjoy but sometimes the enjoyment doesn't last too long and I wish it did. I often wonder if it's my own head making me lose the happiness, or if it is me forcing myself back into the state I keep going in. I can't really think of much else to say, I suppose this is just a casual update. Thank you for reading, Kirstie x